Purpose and Goal

This is a blog dedicated to emerging writers from the Monroe community. Anyone is welcome to comment on pieces published here. If you would like to be a contributor then please leave a message on the "I want to be a part of this..." post.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Calm

I wrote this a few weeks ago after finding the first paragraph or so of a character-developing exercise ("Create a character and then have them talk someone off a ledge") that I did at writing camp over the summer and I liked the character of Liam, so I just decided to finish it. Let me know what you think :)

Calm

Liam leaned against the tree, one leg straight and the other bent, his foot resting on the bark. His arms were crossed, head cocked to the side.

"James, just stop." Liam's voice was cool, firm.

"I'm gonna do it!" James breathed. A chilling breeze blew up off the water below. James shivered, inching his toes closer to the edge of the gorge.

"No," Liam spoke, pacing to James' side and sitting himself on the ground, legs stretched in front of him, arms propping up his torso, "You won't."

Liam stared straight up at James, a smirk playing at his lips.

"I'm gonna jump! I-I swear I will!" James stuttered, flashing eyes flitting between Liam's cool, blue-gray gaze and the waves crashing madly against rock seventy feet below.

"No, James." Liam's voice remained level. "I know you. I know you better than anyone else does. You won't."

Now Liam stood and stepped up behind James so that his face was beside the quivering boy's ear. Liam's hands were clasped behind his back.

"You won't do it, James," Liam whispered, his breath raising goosebumps on the back of James' neck. James trembled. "It would be too much closure. That isn't what you want. You know what you want, and so do I."

James shook his head. "Not anymore."

Liam looked out at the sea just as a falcon glided from the air to perch on a rock jutting from the roaring chaos below. James trembled, peeling the mist-soaked green shirt from his body and letting it fall to the ground beside his bare feet. Liam stood as the muscles in his friend's shoulders tensed and relaxed, tensed and relaxed.

"I'm gonna do it," James repeated, as if to make sure Liam had heard him.

"Are you?" Liam replied, his voice not betraying the slightest bit of worry.

James nodded his head in quick, shaking movements.

"Fine," Liam replied.

James whipped his head around to see Liam's face, a flash of confusion passing across his face, eyebrows shooting upward in surprise.

"What?" James questioned.

"Do it," Liam answered. "If you're so sure that you can, then do it. "

James' eyes widened, his lips parting in shock, and he turned back towards the water. Liam watched as he took a long, shaking breath, his shoulders trembling as they rose and fell, as if he was trying to restrain an emotion that was trying to break free.

"But I don't want to be here to see you try." Liam turned his back to James, his army boots kicking up showers of pine needles as he walked away.

"What makes you think that I won't succeed? That I won't do it?" James called over the waves as their roaring hit a crescendo. The falcon screeched and took flight again.

Liam's step faltered for a step before regaining its surety. He spoke without looking back.

"You're stronger than that."

7 comments:

  1. i love the reverse psychology, and that he doesnt leave the other boy, james, with the impression that he doesnt care. he does tell him what he thinks, but in a way that would make sure he gets off the cliff. i love the charcter already, he isnt a normal person who may panic or order him off the cliff, which most likely wouldnt work.

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  2. I agree with Kace. And I really love Liam's cool, calm character. I'm a sucker for the aloft and mysterious personality types. I really think Horvath's blog should have a "Like" button.

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  3. Think that is a great idea...I just have to figure out how to do that on this blog.

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  4. Just re-read this post...good stuff, I have done this writing exercise in the past in a couple of workshops. It is a good way to dive deep into character thought and action. Also reminds me of a song by The Spill Canvas "Self-Conclusion"

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  5. Looked up that song, perfect fit!

    Yay for innovative ideas! I just hope the "Like" button doesn't over-ride the comments. ^^;

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  6. Woah! That song does fit perfectly! cool!

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