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Monday, January 31, 2011
Wantless - A poem about loneliness
I am wantless, Unsoothable.
Music is jarring, Intruding. Food is tasteless, Unsatisfying.
My friends/readers and I have noticed that I am becoming trapped in a repetition rut. I can't seem to write without a methodical pattern to poem. I'm very addicted to patterns and such in other aspects of my life too, I'm just not sure it's such a good thing to become a crutch in my writing. Anyone have suggestions as to how I can bypass this pattern thing?
If I may...I have told you before that you have a beautiful style and word choice and rhythm inherent in your writing...one way to overcome a dependence on repetition may be to include some figurative language...I see many places in this piece that could use a metaphor or personification to expand them...not only that, but if you do continue to use repetition but combine that repetition with some FL, it will soften it for your reader...I will say that this piece is fabulous...the line "I am wantless" is something I may steal from you...it says so much about a character/speaker in such a short line. LOVE IT
I second you, Mr. Horvath. That line is very powerful and very catchy. I like the meaning in this, many people can easily connect to the vibe this poem gives off. I am proud to note Mariah that I always see you reading a book or writing poetry. You've got an arsenal of poetry in your notebooks!
My friends/readers and I have noticed that I am becoming trapped in a repetition rut. I can't seem to write without a methodical pattern to poem. I'm very addicted to patterns and such in other aspects of my life too, I'm just not sure it's such a good thing to become a crutch in my writing. Anyone have suggestions as to how I can bypass this pattern thing?
ReplyDeleteIf I may...I have told you before that you have a beautiful style and word choice and rhythm inherent in your writing...one way to overcome a dependence on repetition may be to include some figurative language...I see many places in this piece that could use a metaphor or personification to expand them...not only that, but if you do continue to use repetition but combine that repetition with some FL, it will soften it for your reader...I will say that this piece is fabulous...the line "I am wantless" is something I may steal from you...it says so much about a character/speaker in such a short line. LOVE IT
ReplyDeleteI second you, Mr. Horvath. That line is very powerful and very catchy. I like the meaning in this, many people can easily connect to the vibe this poem gives off. I am proud to note Mariah that I always see you reading a book or writing poetry. You've got an arsenal of poetry in your notebooks!
ReplyDelete