A worn penny
falls,
thinking lowly
of itself.
It glimpses
its reflection
in the glittering
water below.
The penny looks at itself;
beneath
the grime and rust,
is a shining surface.
It enters
the welcoming water
with a soft
'plunk'.
It slowly drifts
toward the weathered bottom
of the broken fountain,
in the dappled sunlight.
A gentle, urgent current,
follows
in its wake.
Small ripples spread
throughout the still water,
reaching the edges,
of the forgotten fountain.
The warm sunlight
bounces off the waves,
sending fragmented images
onto the surrounding benches and trees.
A stunning scene-
as it should be,
all because of
a penny.
Great poem...it works both on the metaphorical level and also works as a literal image poem. I would say that yyou may want to alter/remove the last line
ReplyDelete"as it should be,
all because of
a penny. "
It give away too much of your meaning...let your audience see this great building scene that has been initiated by the penny and draw the conclusion themselves.
I agree that the last stanza shouldn't be there. I think I'll just remove the last stanza completely. It was the first part of the poem that I wrote, and I knid of built the rest of the poem off of it, so I felt obligated to include it in the poem. However, I think that the rest of the poem portrays that initial thought well enough to be inferred instead of read.
ReplyDeleteSo for anyone reading this: Please ignore the last stanza!