the walls which once
supported
me,
contained
my world,
i see now,
are not there,
but instead
replaced by nothing
the most fearful thing of all
The floor
in which my feet
were once rooted
has shattered beneath me
& i fall
into the deep
the ugly abyss
never ending
nothingness
falling,
hopelessly,
an event
beyond my control
and all this
simply because
i couldnt hold on
to the illusion
i called life
the illusion
we all call
living.
i am disillusioned.
Great poem! I really like the message and the imagery. I especially like this part:
ReplyDelete"& i fall
into the deep
the ugly abyss
never ending
nothingness
falling,"
As the poem continues, the lines get shorter and shorter, giving the feeling of diassapearing and nothingness. I don't know if you meant to do this, but it had an excellent effect!
I love the imagery in this poem! I can see someone standing in a dissinegrating room, trying to grasp anythingto keep them in the only place they know. Excellent!
Thanks you! By the way, i like your picture. Do those feet have hearts too?
ReplyDeleteYes. Their hearts are in the big toes. I like your picture too! Shima!
ReplyDeleteHahaha yes. Shima IS pretty amazing.
ReplyDeleteI guess Japan is going to be a central feature of this blog...as far as the poem goes I absolutely love it...very lyrical in the first two stanzas. I wonder about the third stanza though. Why are you telling your meaning instead of allowing the strength of your first stanzas to do the work? Let us "see" the illusion, don't tell us it is there. Keep Writing!
ReplyDeleteOk. So should i just get rid of the third stanza?
ReplyDeletealso i dont see how this poem relates to Japan. i didnt intend it to.
Wait, are you people in 8th grade!? I missed the japan-loving generation by ONE year!?! NO FAIR.
ReplyDeleteSo.....your ninth? and yes i am in eighth. and dont feel too bad im pretty sure there are only like 3 other people in this grade who like japan.
ReplyDeleteI think there's a couple more than 3...
ReplyDeleteAnd someone's going to get me a fortune cookie when she goes to Japan! (cough cough)
...unless I hide in her suitcase and then we'd get to actually live out our trip for our spanish project! (best project ever, by the way)
HAhaaaaaaa but i dont wanna die. (yet) although i wouldnt mind haunting japan forever....and everrr....XD
ReplyDeleteYea I'm in 9th ^^ There are only like 3 in my generation too! -.-
ReplyDeleteActually, fortune cookies are Chinese aren't they? They also orginated in America not China. Some weird marketing thing way back when.
Aaaallllssooooo I take latin at masuk and the latin teacher organizes a trip to another country every year with a couple other language teachers. Its open to the entire student body (in a language class or not). This year is Eastern Europe i think, and next year is Spain but I put in a suggestion for Japan as the 2013 trip. HE LOVED IT! He talked to travel companies a little and its a definite maybe. SO SAVE UP!
Yes. Sarah is just an idiot. (not really)
ReplyDeleteand...
Seriously? That is the coolest thing ever. i really want to go to japan. really badly. haha (obviously.) actuallyyy this summer im probably going to japan...so i dont have to wait until 2013! yay! XD
If anyone is hiding in suitcases, it's me! I already called it!!
ReplyDeleteDude. You, and like, a million others. I can just picture the people at the airport. "....uh...." *stares at a mountain of huge suitcases*
ReplyDeleteNope! I call hiding in a suitcase! WIth triscuits!Lots and lots of triscuits!
ReplyDeleteNo...your going to sneak into Japan by pretending to be out pet dog & we can put you into one of the carrier crates. Dont worry, you will still get your triskuts. XD
ReplyDeleteso mean.. that suitcase is all mine though.. ill be a ninja through secruity, theyll never know.... *muhahahhaha*
ReplyDeletehah.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure they won't kaceylee (I'm being sarcastic)
and on a side note...I'm more of a samurai person myself. XD
...I think I'm a bit big to pass as a pet dog. Wait! That means I get a water bowl right?!?!?! Awesome! I've always wanted to drink water out of a bowl!
ReplyDeleteand earth benders beat ninjas and samurais. well, either earthbenders or saiyans. They're both pretty amazing.
haha. actually i would have to say that one inch samurais (ISSUN <3) own all.
ReplyDeleteand Sarah, you can instead go as my pet leprachonifly.
Judging by the quality of writing I see from those of you who love Japan, I may make manga and anime mandatory for my class from now on.
ReplyDeletePLEASE DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAlso reading manga should count towards our reading logs!
WHAT!!!!?!?!?! IF YOU DO THAT I WILL DROP OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL AND GO BACK TO JOCKEY HOLLOW!!! Oh, and manga should definitely count as part of reading logs. I used to sneak 'em in allll the time! You know, Horvath, they have manga series that are in one huge book that's like a Harry Potter novel in cartoon. You should at least count those!!
ReplyDeleteALSO SHAPE SHIFTERS ARE SOOO MUCH BETTER THAN ANYTHING ELSE. NO ARGUMENTS.
Lucky!! Getting to go to japan!! You can hide with me Kace, 'cause I'll just transform into a big trunk.
Yes that is a good point. Shape shifters are probably the coolest.
ReplyDelete... manga counts?!! really?!?? i could have had so many more books!! and duh shapeshifters trump everything, they can be anyyyyythhinngggg... *mystical*
ReplyDelete