I was bored, and I was avoiding my math homework. So decided to try my hand at this Sijo poetry stuff. I don't really think I got the meter right at all, but I had so much fun writing these I decided to post them anyway.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Syncopation
You hold me, smiling softly
I can always hear your heart race.
When you kiss me,my heart lies still.
I feel no drumbeat in my chest.
How will our love make music
with hearts that beat two rhythms?
Untitled 1
They say salvation is a gift.
Bought with Lamb's blood and pain and death.
Now I live with the consequence.
I will never pay off this debt.
Why did You think I wanted this?
I never asked to be saved.
Untitled 2
Do you hear the stars crying?
Forever burning alive
They are separate from us
Yet I wish I could help them
Or is it worth their suff'ring
to see eternal beauty?
It will be a disservice when you decide to put down your pen for other pursuits...these are moving, thoughtful pieces. I am not sure about the meter of the poem but I would suggest you enter the Sijo contest. The three ideas you explore are classic and I think you may be able to develop this into a series that examines a multitude of the metaphysical questions that we all come to at some point. BRAVO!!!
ReplyDeleteSijo? I really like this style. Horvath, you didn't teach us this!! What's the deal?
ReplyDeleteAlso Caroline, very good in my opinion. I especially like the last two.
Sorry, can't teach every style...I can barely write one of these things myself to tell you the truth. Besides, didn't you get to write Luc-Bats? Those are cool, more sonnet-like.
ReplyDeleteYou never tought US these Luc-bat things! I'm disappointed in you, Horvath.
ReplyDeleteThat's ok, I'll just have to look it up myself.
Luc Bats are Vietnamese, can be a pain to learn but there is a comforting science to the lines...I def rec checking them out.
ReplyDeleteI love the topics you addressed! Forget that they may not be exactly right with the meter, I really enjoyed reading these; they make you think and I want literature to make me do just that. Lovely work, keep writing!
ReplyDeleteLUC BATS!? What!! Horvath, how dare you not teach us valuable poetry lessons! I'm way too lazy to look it up! Come to Masuk and teach it to us.
ReplyDeleteHa...ask some of my students from last year...I don't know if they enjoyed writing them that much...
ReplyDelete