Fragile feet,
walk
toward the inevitable
Bridge of Broken Glass.
Shards
of clear,
glittering glass-
deceiving.
The feet tentatively
take the first step,
wincing.
The feet
try not to stumble,
try not to hesitate,
try not to go back.
The glass makes a soft,
tinkling sound-
turns sunlight
into rainbows.
Pain
stabs,
from every angle,
not convincing enough.
The feet
do not falter-
their heart is set
on the wondrous place,
beyond.
I like this. Its a hopeful poem. I like its message about how sometimes you have to overcome pain to get to a better place. I think it is also interesting how the glass is beautiful yet painful and there is some good imagery in this. The only bad thing i have to say is-I wasn't aware feet had hearts.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I wasn't sure if I focused too much on how the glass was beautiful yet painful.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, this is the PERFECT font color for this blog. Be carefull about giving away your meaning by telling instead of using strong images...there should be an image of "tentatively take the first step"...what does a tentative steop look like? The line "not convincing enough" is another one that tells and doesn;t provide the image for the reader to use to interpret. Last note, "heart set on the wondrous place beyond" is a telling line. We (as the reader) need to see/experience the wondrous place that these feet are carrying us to. This is a great poem with some strong central images and word choice...keep writing!
ReplyDeleteI love your point of view because it's so true. When you explain the deceiving glittering glass and how the pain is still not convincing enough to make you turn back I couldn't help but see that you were suggesting that the bridge was life and what beyond was whatever happens after. I don't know if this is what you were trying to say because it could have easily just been a hard time you were trying to get through but either way very beautiful. the only thing I would say is to give it more imagery to mask and decorate your lines. Lastly though I just want to say that I love your title, it grabbed me and caused me to read on which is a very important thing to have the reader do.
ReplyDeleteVery beautiful message in this poem.
ReplyDelete