| if a conciousness were to bloom within the flower resting in a vase would it tire of it kind suffering to please us? rebel? whither and die? or will it see us living with our dear ones and grow jelous wanting, needing to feel this thing called love? If a consiousness were to bloom in a flower what would it do? This poem isn't very good. I know. But I was told to post something.... This was inspired by M.C.Escher...my favourite (not Japanese) artist. |
Monday, February 21, 2011
The Flowers In a Vase
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
there is a typo. in line 6 its supposed to be its not it. sorry.
ReplyDeletelol also jelous = jealous XD
ReplyDeleteActually I kind of like this poem. It's rhythm is a tiny bit messy, but its philosophical and seems to speak about appreciating life. I especially like how you used a "blooming consciousness" for a flower (which usually bloom). I think its pretty cool.
I can NEVER spell that word right! TT__TT
ReplyDeleteBut I'm glad you like it.
This reminds me of a great poem I read from a student last year that put the same type of consciousness into a flower, however she mused on the fact that we kill these things for their "prettiness", a kind of sad statement on our values etc...love the idea here, I would suggest that you could clean it up by taking away the telling "if a consciousness..." and letting the reader interepret....let the flower wither away surrounded by the love it cannot share or refuse to bloom in an act of defiance...I think YOU need to figure out what the flower would do before you rework this though.
ReplyDeleteGreat poem! Just one question-M.C. Escher is that guys that draws those illusion things right? Like that shirt? With the hands on it?
ReplyDeleteAnd I just have to add one thing. Not being able to spell and a variety of other symptoms is...kikitous. (we never discussed how to spell it, though.) Other symptoms include tripping over flat surfaces, usually backwards, and not being able to walk correctly (in which case you will either need lessons on how to do so in the back of the classroom durring Spanish or have a song to teach you how to walk correctly.)
ReplyDeleteGym was so much fun last year!
yes. the hand shirt hahaa. and stop picking on kikitus. dont even get me started on sarah-itus
ReplyDelete